The Laws of Cat Behaviour

There are a few immutable facts about cats, this being one: if you lay out a pair of dark trousers on the bed as you are dressing for work in the morning, the one light-coloured cat in the house will promptly lie down on it. Although I do not have light-coloured work trousers, I strongly suspect that in that case, the black cat of the house would do the same. The next result is the same: fur everywhere, and five minutes added to your departure time, while the cat blink-blinks at you innocently from the bed.

Monday, as usual, is Monday, and Monday is that day, after all, where stuff traditionally hits the fan here.

• Long-term goal: survive to the end of the day without incurring fan-hit shit.
• Medium-term goal: coast through to lunch, and have a happy lunch hour with some moderately mindless shopping to keep the fear at bay.
• Short-term goal: keep a low profile, and out of the usual morning madness that crawls around this office.

Tuesday is always a far more productive day than Mondays, I find. Tuesdays give me hope. I shall place my hopes on Tuesday.